Aw man, I don't get to write about PJ Blazejowski, aka Blaze Runner, aka Trail Blazer, aka Uncreative Weed Pun Nickname? That ain't even fair, man.
Player to Watch: Sir Robin, the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot
Brave Sir Robin ran away/Bravely ran away away/When danger reared it's ugly head/He bravely turned his tail and fled/Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about/And gallantly he chickened out/Bravely taking to his feet/He beat a very brave retreat/Bravest of the braaaave, Sir Robin!
Next Game: @ South Carolina, Saturday, Noon ET
Auburn 23, Mississippi State 38
Hey, it turns out if you have one of the best defenses in the nation, if not the best defense, you can slow down Auburn's awesome offense. Too bad for the Gamecocks then, eh?
Player to Watch: Jonathan Jones, DB
Nabbing two interceptions off a Heisman hopeful like Dak Prescott ain't too shabby. Make no mistake, Auburn can play both sides of the ball, and they're likely to come out with even more fire after taking this beating from the Clanga Clanga Gang, and unfortunately for the Gamecocks, they'll be the first to face ol' War Eagle after their bye week.
Next Game: vs. South Carolina, Next Saturday, time TBD
Tennessee 45, Chattanooga 10
What, you want a rocky top cookie? Get outta here with that mess.
Player to Watch: Justin Worley, Quarterback
Five total touchdowns is amazing coming from Worley here, but it was the execution of a gameplan that plays to his strengths that was most impressive. Short, high percentage passes mixed with an unpredictable run game. Eight different guys ran the ball for Tennessee this game. The Volunteers may not be the most exciting team, but they're worth paying attention to. Something's happening in Knoxville, I just don't know what.
Next Game: @ Ole Miss, Saturday, 7 pm ET
Florida 27, LSU 30
Florida scored more than 12 points? Jeff Driskel threw a touchdown? The Gator defense had a bad game? Who are these guys, and what have they done with the Will Muschamp-era Florida Gators?!
Player to Watch: Demarcus Robinson, Wide Receiver
You deserve better, Demarcus. The young man still put in plenty of work, though, catching five passes for over a hundred yards and a touchdown. Still, it's hard not to imagine him catching 12 passes for 250 yards and three touchdowns with any quarterback other than Jeff Driskel.
Next Game: vs. Missouri, Saturday, 7 pm ET
South Alabama: Inactive
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
Player to Watch: King from Tekken
He's a jaguar, right? A jaguar who wrestles? Am I getting that right?
Next Game: @ Georgia State, Saturday, 7:30 pm ET
Clemson 23, Louisville 17
I actually read an article that said Clemson had "arrived" and was no longer the "whipping boy" of the ACC. I presume because people got tired of Dabo crying all the damn time.
Player to Watch: Bea Arthur, Deceased Actress
If you threw a party, and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say "thank you for being a friend." Also the gift would be a purple crew-neck sweater.
Next Game: @ Boston College, Saturday, 3:30 pm ET