Tater Lane

By Rixon Lane

"Tater Lane" is back to offer his special brand of analysis and insight to last weekend's games and the upcoming slate of college football contests. 

Really wouldn't be fair for Deshaun Watson to play the entire season healthy. One little broken finger is just God's way of leveling the playing field. 

Brady Hoke doesn't know why Watson can't play for a month. If he can take two or three steps without toppling over, what's the problem?

Bobby Petrino's spike on third-and-goal was the "drunken 2 AM text to a blonde ex-volleyball player" of play-calls. 

Coot fans are making such a big deal about Dabo getting excited after the Louisville game. Jealousy. Did Slurrier even win a game last weekend? Exactly.

I see the Lamecocks didn't even have to play on Saturday and now they get Furman. Typical creampuff SEC schedule.  

Thanks to Auburn, we've got to listen to those ridiculous cowbells all week. Nothing screams "I'm a hillbilly" more than clanging a bell for three hours. Just like nothing says "classy" like orange overalls. 

Boston College quarterback Tyler Murphy has more rushing yards against FBS teams this year than Clemson's entire offense. On a totally unrelated note, anyone know if he'd be interested in signing a few hundred items of memorabilia this week? Asking for a friend. 

Florida State dropped to number two in the polls this week. Guess it must be because of the way they struggled to deal with all that deafening noise up at Syracuse. 

Always was pulling for Cole Stoudt. Great kid and a great opportunity for him. Now if you'll excuse me for one minute…HONEY! WHERE'S THAT BAG WE'RE TAKING TO GOODWILL?! GOT A JERSEY I NEED TO GET OUTTA THERE!!