By Rixon Lane
Monday night will arguably be one of the biggest games in the history of South Carolina women's basketball.
The top-ranked Gamecocks will put their 22-0 record on the line against the 2nd-ranked Connecticut Huskies at 8:00 p.m.
With so many media outlets covering this matchup, I am staking my claim to the following headlines after the game's conclusion:
IF SOUTH CAROLINA WINS...
- ONE AND FUN
- CONN YOU DIG IT?
- SAD HUSKIES, POOR HUSKIES, LITTLE BALLS OF FUR
- DAWN OF THE EMPIRE
- ALL THEY DO IS W1N
- GE-NO! (only to be used if Geno Auriemma is ejected)
- NO THEY CONN'T
- ALL BARK, NO BITE
- SNOW PROBLEM
- UNBLEMISHED AND NOT FINISHED
IF SOUTH CAROLINA LOSES...
- WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?
- ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER
- TWO AND BARBECUE
- DOG FIGHT (only to be used if there is a brawl)
- SEE YOU IN APRIL
- SNOW PROBLEM (it's all about the inflection, people)
IF SOUTH CAROLINA LOSES DUE TO SHIFTY TIME-KEEPING METHODS...
- FIGHTING GAME-CLOCKS